As an old guy playing Stardew Valley, I should be allowed to date the bus driver

Stardew Valley citizens

I’m gettin’ pretty old. I don’t like to say my age out loud because maybe if I don’t say it, it won’t actually be real, so let’s just say I’m Gen X, I was born the same year as Pong, and my high school had a designated smoking area—for students. That’s pretty darn old.

And as an old guy who just started playing Stardew Valley a couple of weeks ago, I’ve slowly come to the horrifying realization that I’m way too old to be dating pretty much any of the life sim’s romantic partners. There are twelve “singles” in Stardew, and with the exception of maybe two, they’re all so young that I can’t help but feel like an absolute creep for trying to woo one, let alone marry one. I’m honestly left wondering—would have it been that hard to have a couple, y’know, actual adults to romance in Stardew Valley? 

(Image credit: ConcernedApe / Stardew Valley Wiki)

Take Abigail, one of the most popular romance options in Stardew. She’s cute, she’s goth, she’s a gamer… what more could you ask for? But the more I talked to her, the more I felt troubled about romancing her. Abigail lives with her parents, she often talks about stuff her dad won’t let her do, like subscribe to magazines… it pretty quickly began to feel pretty icky because Abby doesn’t strike me as an adult. She seems like a teenager.



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